Losing….motivation.

Since last week I have noticed that I seem to have lost my mojo. I’m trying to push through but I can’t seem to get anywhere. I wasn’t able to go to the gym last week due to half term holiday. I didn’t realize the difference going gym made to my life until this week. I’m struggling to into the swing of things and get my motivation back. Attending gym was a way of releasing stress and clearing my mind but now all I seem to do is think and not about my studies which I need to focus on as I have assignments to do.

I hope this is temporary as I need to get my life in order, so I can focus on the things that matter most.

Yesterday’s lecture

Well…what can I say about our afternoon lecture other than that it gave us all a chance to experience being kids again, doing primary school art work. Too bad the questions regarding the work wasn’t quite as easy.

Though….I have to say it was actually fun and I found it to be a little therapeutic for stress. It also gave me ideas on what sort of things I can do with my son at home.

During the lesson I noticed that this was the first time

that we as a class had interacted each other outside our cliques or necessary group work.

I shall savour it as I know it will be a while before it happens again. Enjoy our master pieces. Hahaha.

Progress

In the past week I have realised how important ‘progress’ is to me. I have always hated the feeling of being stuck. Not moving forward in anything I do or through life in general. I am back at university now and having a bit of trouble adjusting to the new timetable as well as fitting in work and gym.

Yes!! I have finally joined a gym after talking about it for years. I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to keep up with it or commit to it whole heartedly but I have surprised myself at how much I’m enjoying it and how good I feel after each session.

Being able to achieve some of my goals means that I have made progress in my life and that I am moving forward in the right direction. For the rest of this year, I hope to continue making positive changes and making……. PROGRESSSSS! Haha..

catch up!

Well…. where do I even start?! So much has happened in a short period of time. I started off this year struggling not knowing which direction in life to take. Don’t get me wrong, I am still struggling but God has blessed me in so many ways that I  do not allow myself to dwell on the negative side of things.

This summer I had the opportunity to return back home to Uganda in Africa. I have not been back since I left in 2001. Going back home was an eye opener for me as so much has changed since I was last there. Looking at my homeland through the eyes of an adult I struggled to accept how much the country has changed. One of the main reason for this trip was to be reunited with my birth mother as I haven’t seen her in almost 25 years, another reason was so she could meet her grandson. It also provided me with a chance to get to know my other siblings from mother’s side. This trip was an opportunity for me to reconciliate with relatives that I have not seen in 18 years as well as build new relationships.

I regret that I did not give myself time to take pictures and capture the moments and memories in a photograph to carry with me. Leaving was bitter sweet, however, it inspired me to work harder and also made me even more grateful for what god has given me.

I need to do better on my next trip…..lol. definitely taking more pictures.

Finally…..done.

Well….. I have done it, finally!

I have finished my first year at Uni, something I am still amazed by, given the pains I had to go through to get here. What’s more amazing, is the fact that I passed all my assignments! Yay me. I was so nervous when I started my course and wondered if I will be able to keep with the work load as well as my other responsibilities. I seem to have done it, I don’t know how but I did it. I thank God for all the blessings I have received so far this year.

Almost there!

So, in a few days I will complete my first year at university. I cannot believe it as in the last few months it did not seem like that was going to happen. To be honest, it has been a roller coaster, one that I did not think would ever stop. I can not thank God enough for getting me through it. I am very thankful for my close friends and family for the love and support they have given me during this rough time.

People seem to marvel at the fact that I am studying, working and taking care of my son. Funnily enough, I do not think it is a big deal when it comes to me doing it but share the same amazement when I read stories of individuals who have accomplished the same thing. Weird huh? Anyway, through all this I have learnt that where there is a will, there is a way. All you need is some motivation, determination and most importantly prayer to keep you going when things get tough.

Now if I could just get through this last assignment and I will be home free. Lol.

Can’t wait for my second year to start!

Public speaking,

I think it is safe to say that me and presentation just don’t go together. I’m sitting here in a lecture resenting my professors for forcing us to do presentations for some of our final assignments. Do not get me wrong I get the point of it but I still do not like it. Anyway, I hope to pass every single assessment, so far so good but I am not sure about the group presentation. Fingers crossed!

HOPE…

At the beginning of this month, I found out that I might not get funding from student finance to continue with my studies. However, after days of fighting frustrations and feelings of defeat, I made an appeal to have my case reviewed. Through prayers, it seems that there is still HOPE for the dream after all. The process isn’t complete yet but I am forever thankful to God for being in my corner and giving me the strength I needed to keep going when all I wanted to do was to just give up.

Life isn’t easy. It is even harder when you come close to losing something you have wanted for the longest of time and worked so hard for it.

Hope….such a simple word but yet holds a lot of power. People say that love is what keeps us going but I believe that it is HOPE!! To believe is to hope, and where would the world be without it.

End of the dream….maybe.

So, this week has been a bit crazy for me, with the weather going crazy on us but what really got me, was finding out that I will not be getting the funding I need to continue with my studies.

Now, I don’t know whether to be sad or angry. I am really trying to stay positive but I feel quite defeated. I have done and provided everything the student finance has asked of me, only find out that it’s not enough. Apparently…. all the documents I provided are invalid or don’t meet their guidelines.

The only option left to me is to appeal and find out why the evidence I gave was seen as invalid. At this point, I am clueless about what I should do with my life. Getting my degree has always been major goal that I wanted to achieve despite the high fees.

Maybe I need to accept that this isn’t meant to be. It just sucks so much right now. Onwards and upwards…….right?

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